That’s crazy when you think about it to be afraid of not succeeding at one task. I say that but, the truth is, I’m scared of failing. No, wait, I’m not. After some thinking and a couple of reading, I just realized that I wasn’t afraid of failing but I really was afraid of what people would think of me if they saw me falling. The way they would look at me, what they would think of me. We see falling and failing at ridiculous most of the time.
For example, look: if you fall in your own home, without a person to see you, you just stand back up and continue. But, on the other hand, if you stumble in the street, that you feel the looks of people around you, it’s at that moment that you’ll feel ashamed of yourself, you’ll feel uncomfortable that strangers saw you fail/fall.
Stumble, make mistakes, getting hurt, be mistaken, happen to every single one of us at one point in our life at least. In reality, it happens a lot… to everyone… no exception.
Think about it for a minute. When a kid falls, how would you react? You wouldn’t make fun of him, on the contrary, you’ll help him stand back up and comfort him… here you are. You need to have that same behavior with you. You can be your best friend but also be you worst enemy. You need that same compassion and understanding towards yourself. You need to be your friend.
So, it’s really not failure that terrifies us but more what people would say of us if they saw us fall or fail. While, it’s not them who have to stand back up. Moreover, to be honest, we tend to put words and intentions in people’s minds, thoughts that they probably don’t have. Maybe seeing us fall, they would think of a way to help us, but when they see us stand back by our own, they are witness of our strength.
Falling, making mistakes is part of life and no one can prevent it. It’s also the best way to grow and learn. Like a kid learning to walk, when we “fall”, we need to stand back up, cheer ourselves up, and go back without losing focus and motivation. A kid never stop trying until he succeeds. He falls and then stand back again and again, dozens of time is necessary. By growing up we lose this perseverance, at least most people do, me included.
“I never lose. I either win or learn.” Nelson Mandela
Personally, I found that we talk way too much about falling as a bad thing. An end in itself but in reality, it’s not. It’s a beginning, a new chance to start differently. I don’t want to use the word “fail” because of it pejorative side. We just need to accept we made a mistake, and not be afraid of it.
Being mistaken implies we can correct it and improve ourselves, stand back up, start over, learn lessons on what we did wrong: the step we didn’t see, the knowledges that we are missing, the tools we don’t have just yet, the patience which we sometimes lack…
Don’t let our ego directs our steps. Trust and persistence even in hard times must be our engine.
We should not be afraid of making mistake because it’s the only way to learn. So, let’s go, let’s learn and be proud of it!
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